Bribery At Its Finest
by Seiji and Shizuku 4ever
Summary: When Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon use a faked interview to manipulate Team Haru into doing favors for them, chaos ensues and things take a turn for the worst. /OC-centric, birthday gift for MissFaerieKaiti!/


**A/N: YESTERDAY WAS MISSFAERIEKAITI'S BIRTHDAY AND I MISSED IT HOW HORRIBLE AM I orz Omg I'm so terribly sorry, Kaiti-sama, I hope you'll forgive me and I hope this story makes up for it! I hope I kept everyone IC (it was my first time trying my hand at your newest OC - please tell me if I did him justice! I can never play your fantastic characters as amazingly as you do)! And I hope you enjoy this, my lovely friend, and I hope you had a great birthday! Love chu! And thank you for always being such a wonderful friend to me! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! *throws confetti and sparkles***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I don't own the two and a half OCs of Kaiti's - I just own my own one and a half. x3**

**BY THE WAY. To any new readers - I recommend you read MissFaerieKaiti's Team Haru-centric stories - this one will make a lot more sense if you do, and she's a brilliant writer! Oh, and as a sidenote - this story takes place around... eh, I don't know, around halfway through the first series.**

**READY, ANNNNDDD ACTION!**

* * *

Shikamaru was so used to Kaida's chipper, eager footsteps indicating her arrivals to their dates that he didn't even peg the trudging he heard approaching as her until he turned around.

And boy, was he in for a shock.

His almond eyes widened, initially taken aback until amusement finally tugged at his expression. "Dare I ask what happened to you?"

Kaida let out her bated breath in a long, slow, exasperated exhale. "It's a long story."

"Go ahead. Seems like it should be good." Smirking a bit now, Shikamaru crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, beckoning for her to join him.

The redhead obliged, sighing almost hesitantly before delving into the tale. "Well, it all started with Konohamaru..."

"Uh-oh. This is already getting off to a troublesome start."

"You don't even know the half of it."

* * *

Team Haru had just concluded training for the day and were each planning to part ways. Haru-sensei had already departed, Hotori and Kyra were about to do some extra practice for fun (something about making her fly with his wind jutsu - Kaida hadn't really been paying attention. She more often than not tuned out their conversations now that her two squadmates had become a couple; a concept she herself was none too happy about, but could accept since Kyra seemed happy. She no longer needed to keep tabs that Hotori was being mean to Kyra, at least), and Kaida had just met up with her twin brother - Kadin - for lunch since he was in town.

That was when Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon made their appearances and interrupted each of their plans. They were toting a notepad and camera - something Kaida recognized from when the trio had interviewed most of the squads participating in the second round of the Chunin Exams. "Oi, oi, hold up there!" the leader boisterously proclaimed in a manner that was very similar to a certain Jinchuriki they all knew.

Hotori curtly glanced their way, any traces of the easygoing persona Kyra always managed to coax out of him instantly alleviating. "What is it? In case you haven't noticed, we're all pretty busy here, so make it snappy and don't waste our time." Kaida - for once - could agree with the comrade she was always butting heads with, though she wouldn't have worded that near as rudely. In complete, unintentional synchronization, she and Kadin turned to give Hotori a sharp look that resembled the other's perfectly.

Kyra, as usual, was the peacemaker between them all. "Hotori, don't be rude," she berated gently before bestowing an earnest smile toward the three kids. "What do you three need?"

Udon sniffed loudly due to his omnipresent allergies as he elaborated, "We were just wondering if we could interview you all.."

"Hey, I was gonna say that!" Konohamaru interrupted with a sigh of exasperation, finishing for Udon instead. "For our school newspaper. We need an extra column, so we figured you guys are as good as we're gonna get."

"You just had to ask. I'm outta here," Hotori deadpanned to his girlfriend before turning to leave, but Kyra's sudden grip on her arm stopped him. She turned to smile at him with complete innocence, but with a scary vibe emanating from her, somehow making her smile all the more unnerving and eerie. Kaida and Kadin collectively winced. Hotori got the message and grunted indignantly but obediently stayed where he was. Kaida made a mental note to get lessons on that expression from Kyra later - if that was all it took to whip Hotori into shape, that could definitely come in handy for Kaida.

Konohamaru grinned in satisfaction and aimed a fingerpoint toward Kaida's counterpart. "You're up first! You're pretty new around these parts."

"Unfortunately," Kadin responded with a laidback grin.

"So you're Kaida's twin brother, right? Udon, take note," Konohamaru instructed, and the glasses-clad boy promptly complied, conducting the interview with a dab of the pen toward his tongue (in an attempt to seem more grown up). "And you never knew? Wow! So you're like, long lost siblings at birth?" He kept barreling faster before Kadin could even reply, and Udon was scribbling furiously. "And you're not actually that famous actress's son? And you _never knew? _That's crazy! But supposedly, you were dead. Then you came back. Word on the street is that you tracked down your fake old man." Konohamaru was pacing now, not even skipping a beat as he lifted a finger matter-of-factly. "But _wait, _there's more! I also heard you were Kaida's boyfriend. Hmmm. It all sounds pretty fishy to me." Konohamaru faced the stunned twins again, his face pinched in a suspicious manner. "Explain."

"Eeww, incest!" Moegi made a face. "This is beginning to sound like a bad shojo manga or something."

Kaida took control then, holding up a hand as she stepped forward. "Hey, slow down! We can explain all that, alright?"

"Yeah, seriously, take a breather," Kadin put in, but was clearly impressed that Konohamaru could say so much and so fast in the span of ten seconds.

Konohamaru directed a rather devious grin to Kaida, his undivided attention all on her. "Don't even get me _started _on you, flameo!"

Hotori made no attempt to hide his snicker. Kyra chidingly elbowed him. Kaida and Kadin both exchanged glances and repeated in sync, "... 'Flameo'?"

Konohamaru was the master of fixating every ounce of attention back to himself, however, and continued, undeterred. "I hear you're getting pretty kissy-kissy with Shikamaru now, am I right?"

Hotori snickered louder. Even Kadin and Kyra had to squelch any traces of amusement at that one. Kaida, however, turned as red as her hair.

"_So, _in conclusion, what I'm gathering from this is... you pretended to go out with your _own brother _to catch Shikamaru's attention and make him jealous!" Konohamaru concluded with a smug grin, then he turned to his male companion. "Udon, are you getting all this?"

"Yes, sir!" he saluted before continuing to write furiously.

Kaida waved her hands in frustrated flurry. "Hey now, you're getting it all wrong!"

"You're seriously misinformed, dude," Kadin added protectively with a furrow to his brow. "Kaida did that as a favor for _me-_"

Hotori snorted. That was when Konohamaru whirled on him, and Kyra visibly blanched in fear of what was to come. "And _you!_"

Hotori raised a brow, unfazed. "..What _about _me?"

"I know all the details behind your little get-together with _her!_" Konohamaru pointed to Kyra, who flinched in surprise.

"Keh. Doubt it." Hotori rolled his eyes.

"That's where you're wrong!" Konohamaru exclaimed, Udon and Moegi nodding rapidly behind him. "I have very reliable sources! Anyone will tell the grandson of the last Hokage anything he wants to know. And what _I _heard is that on a stormy night, in the Hokage face mountains..." Kyra's eyes were widening with each and every word. Konohamaru paused for dramatic effect, then burst out, "SHE SEDUCED YOU!"

Kyra's hands flew to her cheeks, which were no longer pale and now furiously filling with color. "EEEHHH?"

Kaida grit her teeth. She herself could take whatever Konohamaru dished out - but him picking on her introverted friend that got embarrassed easily, that crossed the line. "Anyone with a shred of common sense knows that Kyra's not like that!"

"You're really pushing your luck here," Kadin added with indignantly folded arms, then glared at Hotori, who had burst out laughing. "And just _what_ is so funny?"

"Everything they're saying," Hotori said once his laughter had dwindled down. "It's ridiculous. I knew they'd just waste our time with pointless gossip. C'mon, Kyra, we're leaving." Kyra nodded, more than happy to accompany him, but then Konohamaru's next words stopped the duo in their tracks.

"Not unless you want me to print this story in our school newspaper," Konohamaru smirked, satisfied at having the upper hand, then nodded toward Udon. "Read out what you've got so far."

Udon cleared his throat before obliging. "'Details of how the relationship between former students Hotori Yamagi and Kyra Temachi blossomed has now been confirmed. The seemingly sweet and innocent Kyra has admitted to seducing Hotori using, in her words, "questionably provocative methods that can't be told in full detail for a kids' newspaper". And there you have it.'"

Konohamaru and Moegi applauded. "Very well done!" the captain of the trio praised. Kyra had gone completely crimson, her expression mortified. The other three, however, were fuming.

"You really wanna do this?" Kadin challenged. "You don't even know what you're up against. Kaida and I are practically the Dynamic Duo in all things blackmail."

Moegi smiled too-innocently. "Oh, we know! Kaida's stunt back in Academy - where she started the trend of pink hair and feather boas and stuff - it's a legend! People in our class talk about it all the time."

Kaida brightened considerably, momentarily forgetting the predicament at hand. "Really? You're serious?" Hotori gave her an irritable look which jolted her back to the present. "I mean- seriously, this is going too far. Cut it out."

Konohamaru cackled. "Or, how about we write about Kaida's little scandal instead? Even better - we could write both! 'Good Girls Going Bad' - that would make a great headline, wouldn't it?"

Kyra had her face in her hands now. Hotori, protectively riled up, marched right up to Konohamaru with balled fists and stared him down. "What's the point of all this?"

"I was hoping you'd ask that," Konohamaru answered with a wide grin. "See, we wanna make a proposition. If you do us some favors, we won't print those articles. Simple as that. Do we have a deal?"

In the span of the fraction of an instant, Kadin and Kaida had glanced to a stricken Kyra, then to each other, collectively nodding once before turning toward Konohamaru. "Fine."

* * *

"You know, I can't help but admire their method," Kadin murmured to his twin sister as they walked side by side.

"It was all pretty cleverly executed, I'll give them that," Kaida had to acknowledge with a nod of agreement. Suddenly the proud trio came to a stop before them, making the four teenagers stop in their tracks as well.

"Alright, first up!" Konohamaru announced, his cape billowing out in the breeze as he turned around to face them. "You guys hafta get us the newest edition of Makeout Paradise!"

"We're not that good at Transformation Jutsu yet," Moegi clarified.

Kyra and Kaida blinked wide eyes - Kyra in surprise, Kaida in irritation. Hotori rolled his eyes as if this was a waste of his time.

Kadin, however, stepped up to the challenge. "This isn't for the faint of heart," he said with a grin.

Kaida shot daggers as she grabbed her brother by the shoulder and shoved him back. "Oh no you don't." She scowled at him, then towards the kids. "Leave it to me." She knew Kyra was far too bashful to accept the challenge - additionally, she didn't make a very convincing actress.

But when Kaida transformed into an adult and entered, got the book, and tried to ring it up, the clerk at the checkout desk pulled a "Release!" and her cover was blown. She couldn't pull a fast one there - apparently this had been done many times before.

So it was with a grouchy demeanor that Kaida stomped back toward where the group was hiding out and relayed her defeat. Konohamaru tsked. "Tsk, tsk. Oh, well. That's one article we're putting in. Whose should it be, Moegi? Kaida's or Kyra's?"

"Well, to choose Kaida's would make more sense, since she's the one that failed, but..." Moegi tapped her chin with feigned thoughtfulness.

Kyra made a strangled sound before speaking, aghast. "Y-you can put my story in..!" she blurted out selflessly, causing everyone to turn and look at her in surprise.

"Kyra-" Kaida started to protest, but the brunette cut her off.

"It's okay, really! Your story is much worse than mine." Kyra smiled a bit sheepishly, and Kaida bit her lip. That might be true, but she knew how much Kyra valued people's opinions of her. A crack at her reputation like that would really upset her. She appreciated Kyra's consideration and thoughtfulness, but she didn't deserve backbiting. Kaida could deal with a little gossip about her.

Finally Hotori growled, breaking Kaida's decisive train of thought. "I've had enough of this. You want something done right, gotta do it yourself." With that, he stormed off. Within minutes, despite none of them knowing how he'd managed it, Hotori returned with the desired copy of Makeout Paradise and threw it at Konohamaru, the book knocking him in the head. "There. Happy now?"

"Seems like _someone's _had a little practice," Kaida muttered feverishly.

"Yeah.. I've _gotta _ask him how he did that," Kadin said in wonder, then innocently holding up his hands when Kaida glowered at him. "Not for _that.._! Prank material!" he protested defensively.

Kyra, however, was positively aglow with relief, so much so that she ran right up and hugged Hotori around the neck. "Thank you!" she expressed with genuine gratitude.

Hotori blinked, red lines slowly becoming prominent on his cheeks. "Most girls wouldn't be thanking their boyfriend for buying porn..." he mumbled.

Kaida gave an exaggerated gasp. "Why, Kadin! Is Hotori actually... dare I say it... _blushing?_"

Kadin played along, his jaw dropping dramatically. "Why, Kaida! I daresay he is! I can't believe my eyes!"

Hotori glared darkly at the twins as Kyra giggled into his shoulder. "I could very easily return that book and have those brats print your story," he retorted, effectively silencing the redheads.

"OKAY, LISTEN UP!" Konohamaru bellowed, Udon tucking the issue of Makeout Paradise into his backpack. "Onto the next task!"

* * *

The next events that commenced were, after treating the kids to ramen and candy, the four teens carrying out the trio's lame genin missions - like walking and washing dogs, painting fences, etc.

"Is this _really _the kind of stuff ninja do at first? Where're the crazy awesome missions with fighting?" Kadin had demanded, appalled.

"They come a lot later," Kaida had grunted in response, vividly recollecting her own impatience when first assigned with the D-ranked missions.

Then, finally came the very last assignment.

"Here comes the final and most important task!" Konohamaru proclaimed, glancing towards them expectantly. "We need help pulling a prank."

Kaida and Kadin exchanged grinning glances. Finally, something they would _enjoy _helping out with. "Name it," they chorused.

* * *

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like that didn't go so well," he gathered, giving her another once-over.

Kaida made a face to punctuate her answer. "It completely backfired."

* * *

The twins completely took over the prank planning. Kyra was hardly good at lying, much less pulling a prank. The closest she'd ever come was on behalf of Ino, when they'd transformed as gypsies and predicted a relationship between Shikamaru and Kaida to them; then when Kyra had Hotori use his wind jutsu to push Shikamaru and Kaida together and keep them there. Both of which had fallen through. And Hotori was indifferent - being mean and relentlessly teasing was more his criteria rather than pranks. So, in all, the only way Hotori and Kyra could assist them was with going to purchase whatever they needed.

Kaida and Kadin were both pretty proud of the outcome. Paint-filled water balloons and glue-and-tar-filled water guns, feathers, silly string, talcum powder, itching powder, the works.

When it had all been elaborately set up, the four teens turned to survey the kids expectantly. However, they were met with cunning, mischievous grins.

"Smiiiiile and say cheese!" Moegi exclaimed, lifting the camera.

And then, something none of them had expected happened.

* * *

"The prank was on _you?_" Shikamaru repeated. He wasn't that surprised - being the analytical, intellectual mind he was, he'd already begun to put it all together.

Kaida huffed, pulling a feather out of her paint-splattered ringlets. "Yeah. Apparently they wanted to get back at us for 'losing good writing material'," she emphasized with air quotes. "Even though they'd gotten all their errands done in return." She sighed, but couldn't suppress a grin. "They're even more formidable than you, Choji, and me as kids back in the Academy, huh?"

Shikamaru chuckled. "Maybe they're just taking after us."

"Our legacy stands strong!" Kaida laughed, successfully cheered up. This is one of the things she loved most about Shikamaru - no matter what kind of mood she was in, he always got her laughing and _kept _her laughing. "Tell me, Shikamaru - am I too unkempt for our date? Should I have gone home and cleaned up first?" she inquired in a playful tone, but with underlying meaning. She hadn't wanted to keep him waiting or be late for their date.

Shikamaru indifferently lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "Doesn't matter to me. I wouldn't have minded waiting if that's what you would've preferred, though." He gave her a small grin indicating he understood that added a fond warmth to his dark eyes. "Besides, you match your hair now, at least." He smoothed a smudge of bright red paint from her face with his thumb. "I _guess _I don't mind dinner being on me this time, considering all the trouble you've been through today..."

Kaida's heart swelled with adoration and she gigglingly nuzzled his cheek, throwing her arms around his neck. Food was definitely the way to her heart. Shikamaru feigned an exasperated sigh. "What a drag. Now I've got paint all over me..." Despite his remark, he draped his arms around her.

"You sure I'm not too troublesome for you?" Kaida pecked his cheek with grinning lips.

Ever so slightly, Shikamaru's grip around her middle tightened. "Never."

* * *

It didn't take long for the next edition of the Academy's school newspaper to go out. It was a big hit with all the kids and their families - even Iruka-sensei got a kick out of it - until, gradually, it was familiar with all of Konohagakure.

On the front page was a picture of a certain stunned foursome covered in paint, feathers, silly string, and tar. Along the sides were little pictures of the teenagers' variating reactions to the pranks unleashed on them. The headline read, in big, flashy, colorful letters: "How to Prank Yourself for Idiots - By Idiots".

They never lived it down.


End file.
